Anti-racism is about more than just being non-racist. It's about actively combating racism. This can seem daunting, but there are lots of things you can do. Here, we explore some strategies to help you actively fight racism.

Avoid Performative Allyship

Have you ever seen a viral video of someone doing something superficially generous for a homeless person? Or maybe you've seen a sad LinkedIn post from a manager, upset because they've had to let some of their workforce go? You've almost certainly seen people change their social media profile pictures or post supportive messages to causes they believe in, like posting a black square in 2020.

These could all be considered examples of performative allyship, where support for someone or something is "performed," rather than being something actually helpful. And while these actions sometimes do help the marginalized person or community, the main purpose is to make the ally look or feel good.

Author Nova Reid highlights why not all acts of allyship are authentic. She says, "There's an impulsive desire to fix, to be the hero of the story, to swoop in and rescue and, for some, it also comes from a place of superiority and/or a desire to be forgiven."

So if you're thinking of all the ways you can demonstrate good allyship for social media likes, think again. Being anti-racist is not a TikTok trend. Instead, in Nova's words, "A good ally is a person who advocates and works alongside the Black community, who uplifts communities for a shared common goal."

RESIST Racism

The "RESIST method" highlights steps that you can take to play your part. Its creator, Claudia Crawley, a Black career coach and anti-racist consultant, explains how to apply it:

"Recognize. Racism exists. Recognizing and acknowledging this is the first step in the anti-racist fight.
Educate. Educate yourself. There are lots of books, videos and articles out there to get you going and keep you busy learning. Then, educate others – family, friends, and co-workers.  
Support. Amplify Black and Brown voices where you can, and support other allies, too. Remember that you too need support. So get support for yourself from fellow allies. It’s a tough struggle and it’s impossible to take it on alone without support. 
Interrupt. If you see racist behavior, interrupt it! Interrupt your own behavior too if you're called out for expressing unconscious bias, prejudice or microaggressions. This means accepting when you screw up, apologizing and seeking to learn from the experience. 
Spot. Look around and notice who is in your workplace. At what levels are they based? Is the entirety of your leadership team White? Speak out if it's not right! 
Talk. Have discussions with your friends, family and co-workers about racism. Normalize talks about racism and anti-racism in the workplace Talk to organizations that are doing things well and learn from them. Talk to your children too and take the taboo out of racism as a topic. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!"

How to Interrupt Racism

Racism doesn't always look like a violent attack. Often, it comes in the form of everyday microaggressions.

Failing to bother to learn how to pronounce someone's name, comparing two Black people that look nothing alike, or touching a Black person's hair are all common examples. Individually, they may not seem like a big deal, but over time they wear a person down – like drip torture. So it's important that we do all we can to stop and correct this behavior whenever we see it.

It can be nerve-wracking to interrupt microaggressions, but there are ways you can help to safely defuse the situation.

In many cases, the person committing a microaggression may not be aware that they're causing harm. It's important to approach gently and with an open mind. Attempting to reproach them could only make things worse if they become defensive.

To keep everyone safe, respond to the situation calmly – don't try to scold or fight off the aggressor. Instead, engage the victim. Talk to them and ignore the attacker. Continue the conversation until the attacker gives up and leaves. Then, check that the victim is OK and offer to escort them to a safe space. 

Get Your Workplace Involved!

Dismantling racism needs to be treated like any other strategic imperative or transformational change.

“Businesses are run on this fundamental formula: define your strategy, set specific goals with clear accountabilities, and then tie rewards to successful outcomes. Creating a racially equitable culture is no different,” say Margaret H. Greenberg and Gina Greenlee, coauthors of "The Business of Race: How to Create and Sustain an Anti-racist Workplace AND Why It’s Actually Good for Business."

Margaret H. Greenberg, who identifies as White, and Gina Greenlee, who identifies as Black, interviewed more than two-dozen leaders from a wide range of industries, roles, races, and ethnicities for The Business of Race. The need for a strategy that is core to the business was stressed again and again. “This is not an HR initiative or a check-off-the-box exercise,” say Greenberg and Greenlee. “No matter your company size, no matter if you have dedicated DEI professionals, no matter your industry – you need a strategy.”

Managers and leaders play a key role in tackling institutional racism. Here are a few suggestions for how to make a positive change in your organization and start building your strategy:

• Don’t just be a mentor, be a sponsor. (“Sponsorship is different from mentorship,” say Greenberg and Greenlee. “The sponsor actively advocates for the employee of color and seeks out growth and advancement opportunities for them. Rather than pair by age or gender as mentorships are often structured, sponsorships pair senior executives, who are still most often White, with BIPOC employees whom they want to develop into more senior leadership roles.”)
• Ensure that all images and language used in job ads and collateral material are inclusive. And rather than hiring for "cultural fit," create diverse recruitment panels and consider "blind" interviews.
• Review your suppliers. How are they diverse?
• Be involved at diversity and inclusion events.
• Provide transparency around any racial and ethnicity pay gaps, and how you will address these.
• Set up sponsorship and/or mentoring, or employee resource groups for underrepresented people.
• Respond to allegations of racism promptly and seriously.
• Ask an inclusion expert for advice if you don't have enough internal expertise.

By combining learning and action, we can come together to make positive change. Learn more in our Racism in the Workplace blogs: Our First Conversation and No Laughing Matter. 

Have an Open Mind, But Pick Your Battles

I spoke to Katrina Bath, Junior User Researcher at Emerald Group, and she was willing to share her feelings on the subject. Katrina said, "From personal experience, I've found that denying someone their opinion usually escalates the disagreement, so I think we need to be able to hear those people out.

"Be mindful that everyone still has a right to an opinion. Change and eradicating century-old mindsets take time. And make sure that you're respectful even if the other person isn't. We don't need to sink to anyone's lower level."

However, sometimes you have to know when to walk away. Try as you might, there will always be some people who refuse to accept that their behavior is offensive or damaging.

Katrina has experienced this too, adding, "I often find that people on the receiving end of racism are the ones who have to be more tolerant of unreasonable views, but why should we have to just stand there and listen? I recently experienced a similar situation and I found it very upsetting and tiring as not everyone is open to being educated.

"Sometimes, facing heated situations with determination to correct the other person might have the opposite effect, which could result in a dangerous situation," Katrina warns. "In these instances, it's more important to put your own safety first."

"Not everyone is going to change their mindset. That's a loss for us, but it's inevitable. Instead, we should focus on getting through to the people who do want to listen. If the majority of people understand that racism is wrong then the minority of people who are racist won't have a platform or opportunities to harass people."

What strategies has your workplace implemented to combat institutional racism? What are you doing to be an anti-racist ally? Tell us in the comments below!

With thanks to Claudia Crawley for permission to use the RESIST method, and for kindly reviewing this blog. And thanks to Margaret H. Greenberg and Gina Greenlee, for sharing their insights and also reviewing this blog.

The post How to Be a (Real) Anti-Racist Ally appeared first on Mind Tools.

I was reminded of this issue a couple of years ago, and decided to share my observations in the Mind Tools Forum. I asked my fellow coaches and Mind Tools members to share their thoughts and experiences, too. Here's our discussion.

Playing Armchair Psychologist

Some of you will know that I teach a leadership course at the business school of a university. My students are all adults who have been working for at least five years, and they take this course to prepare them for more senior management positions.

During one of our group discussions last year, John X told us how he had learned to handle situations with his senior manager – a "difficult" person.

One of the other students who worked for the same company piped up and said, "John's boss is a psychopath." When I asked her whether he's been diagnosed, and if so, how she knows about the diagnosis, she looked nonplussed.

The truth is, she didn't know. Yet she used a very strong term to describe him – and she believed her own story!

Everyone's an Expert

Over the last few years, we've all become more aware of mental health issues. We also have access to the internet 24 hours a day to find information about anything that piques our interest.

What is worrying is that people read a few articles on the internet about a mental disorder, and suddenly they are experts – especially on psychopathy, narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. They also use terms that they misunderstand to describe someone else's behavior, and in doing so participate in spreading incorrect information and ideas.

Even if a person has read a hundred articles on the internet, that still doesn't make them an expert. They still haven't studied for five or six years, didn't do practicals and didn't write a licensing exam.

Here's the honest truth: most of us have some characteristics in common with Hare's Psychopathy checklist (lying, lacking empathy, playing the victim, impulsive behavior, sexual promiscuity... the list goes on) but that doesn't make all of us psychopaths.

Language Around Mental Health

My story particularly resonated with one of our Forum members, GoldenBoy. He responded: "Yolande, you certainly know how to speak to a guy's heart...

"Some of you'll know that I struggle with mental health. I grew up with the language you describe here, used as normal communication in everyday life. I have found that armchair psychologists are generally fairly insecure and use the language to defend themselves against something they don't understand.

"Through the years, I have observed language change to be less offensive, but the ideology behind the defensive behavior remains.

"I have been a victim of armchair psychology (for example, being told "you're mental!"). My strategy today is to ask them how they achieved that diagnosis, I tell them that I will pass their observations on to my psychologist, as he appears to have missed something. (Sarcasm was also strong in my youth.)"

Like GoldenBoy, if people make random comments in a conversation about psychological disorders, I usually question them about their comments. My intent is not to put people down because they're not qualified and I am, but rather to make them think about what it is they're saying and how damaging it can be.

But to be honest, I think GoldenBoy's sarcastic tactic is justified.

Labeling Can Be Destructive

Mind Tools Coach, Michele, chimed in with her thoughts: "Labeling people, whether it is indiscriminately tagging someone with a mental illness or typecasting someone based on some form of assessment (Myers Briggs, Hermann Whole Brain, Hogan, etc.) appears to have a common root cause; it is a way to diminish or marginalize someone."

The instruments that Michele mentions can be useful, but they have to be taught and facilitated correctly. I often use the NBI in my classes. One of my rules is that it must be a safe space for everybody. That includes never using an outcome as a label, a reason to tease or bully someone, or to put them down.

Sadly, Michele experienced first-hand how damaging it can be when these labels are used to diminish someone:

"When people are insecure and fearful, othering someone is a protective strategy. It props up the ego and reduces the threat. I'll give an example from my own experience.

"Earlier in my career, we administered the Herrmann Whole Brain assessment to the leadership team at an offsite. The Herrmann instrument assesses your brain dominance – right or left-brained. The result of the assessment produces a graphic image and shows where you fall in four quadrants.

"I am off the scale upper right (D quadrant) meaning that I am highly cerebral and synergistic. At the end of the offsite, the team gathered in a circle. The facilitator asked us to choose someone in the circle and share something they learned about the person during the course of the offsite. When I was chosen, the person started off with: "Well, Michele is a ditsy "D" and this explains everything I need to know about her." You can probably imagine how I felt at that moment. I was categorized as scatterbrained in front of the leadership team. This is an example of how quickly people can label and marginalize someone.

"Applying mental illness or psychological labels to people amps up the potential for harm. GoldenBoy's experience describes so well how destructive labels can be."

Don't Diagnose – Learn and Support

So what can people do instead to be more inclusive and to show more care?

Michele believes the first step is to educate oneself. She added, "Approaching a situation with openness and curiosity to understand what's behind the other's thinking is a good one. It provides an opportunity to educate. This said, having to educate someone about their uninformed thinking can be trying. I hope that in the near future, awareness around mental illness becomes mainstream so that those on the receiving end of armchair psychology don't have to adopt the role of educator."

Forum user, April, added her thoughts. She said, "Armchair psychology is something that makes me intensely uncomfortable – especially if the "diagnosis" is followed up by a "you must" statement. Or even worse, "You must just..." If it was that easy, we'd all be perfectly healthy people!

"It's easy to label people or to make them feel othered. It's a bit more difficult and time-consuming to support them in a healthy and mature way."

"It takes mindfulness and empathy to embrace them for whoever they are today.

"It's easy to be dismissive. It's harder work to be caring."

Have you ever experienced armchair psychology? Or do you have other stories to share about people being labeled? We'd love to hear from you in the comments below!

The post Armchair Psychology at Work – Thought of the Day appeared first on Mind Tools.

So how can we best motivate others? Whichever method you use, there are surefire ways to motivate and not to motivate.

That's what I reflected on last month, when I wrote about seeing two very different attempts to motivate. I used the Mind Tools Forum to share my experience, and I asked others for their opinions.

Here's some background to the discussion, and a sample of the responses I received.

Demotivational Pep Talks

I live in a neighborhood that houses two kindergartens, two primary schools, a secondary school, and a retirement home. They're all situated along a popular hiking path that many people enjoy using. I usually take this path at least twice a day. (When on maternity leave, I frequented it even more often.) And at least once a day I feel mortified, shocked, or pleasantly surprised by what I hear when I pass these institutions.

I clearly remember one specific situation that led me to ponder motivation. I passed by the secondary school where students were having P.E. outside. They were doing laps, the teacher barking orders at them, and I noticed one was lagging.

Suddenly the P.E. teacher shouted, for everyone to hear, "Come on John, you're not freaking disabled, are you? You'll need to work on you moving your chubby body, will you?" Laughter ensued from the group.

I hate to say it, but I've seen so many shades of this type of motivation, I could write a book! It hurts me even more when ableist language or references to disability or neurodiversity are used. We need to – and can – do better.

I could sense how "John" must've felt. Even if he'd considered trying to finish the lap, he gave up entirely. I thought, "Well, that's the opposite way to motivate a person, let alone help them to embrace something." I got the feeling "John" had not been positively reinforced by the "pep talk."

Encouraging Motivation

But then I passed by the retirement home. There was a group of seniors sitting outside engaged in a group activity: playing the drums. They had big exercise balls and sticks, and they were drumming. There was laughter and fun, and the group facilitator was supporting them excitedly. "Good work, let's hear those drums! You can do it, Mrs X. Now let me hear you, Mr Y. I'm so proud of all of you!" It warmed my heart. For me, that was motivation in its purest form. Not focusing on what a person can't do, but on what they enjoy doing. What you can support them with and encourage them to keep doing (in their own capacity).

In the distance of perhaps a kilometer, I'd seen a dramatic shift in attitude, communication – and motivation.

"As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands. One for helping yourself, the other for helping others."

Audrey Hepburn

It doesn't matter if your job is educating or taking care of others professionally; there's always somebody that you can influence, support and motivate. Sometimes, words that motivate and cheer people on are the least you can do for a person, and they can have a long-lasting effect.

When you take the time and energy to create that spark in others (and yourself), when you focus on nurturing intrinsic motivation for learning and/or doing something, you can create a valuable, lifelong skill.

In the words of Audrey Hepburn, finding ways to help others to focus on their strengths and less on their weaknesses, cheering them on even if they're not doing it perfectly, can be priceless. It can impact people in ways that we've not imagined before.

Transformational Mindset

When I shared my story in the Forum, Sarah Harvey said that it chimed with her. "I loved reading the two examples you shared," she told me. "The school and the retirement home: I could feel how each of them would have been impacted.

"The phrase I loved the most is: 'cheering them on, even if they're not doing it perfectly, can be priceless.' This is something I always try to do personally and encourage the managers I work with to do with their teams. It really is a transformational mindset."

To Motivate, or to Force?

Supriya Dhongde also shared her thoughts. She noted that it takes a special kind of teacher to motivate someone to learn.

"Whether it's drawing, or learning poems in literature class, schools often ruin the fun of doing any activities. The kids are treated and weighted on the same scale. Motivation is through fear, ridicule or shame [that you won't get good grades]."

Supriya added: "I was appalled by the P.E. teacher's disability comment! How insensitive is this to encourage someone? The end result is that learning becomes a means to assert power, defeat someone in competition, and look down on those who are not able to excel. Our overall education system requires overhauling.

"Bless those teachers who are different and look at learning differently, like the one who was ensuring fun while playing the drums."

I agree. Our students are currently much too motivated (forced?) to learn for grades and get into prestige schools or earn accolades. Unfortunately, intrinsic motivation – learning for fun – is something "not on the curriculum." And many teachers and professors are overworked, overstressed, and do not enjoy teaching at all.

When you're teaching, you give a little bit of yourself, you walk in your students' shoes, and need to see the positives in each and every one of them, beyond grades and your KPIs. If not, you've missed your vocation.

Thought of the Day

What experiences have impacted how you learn, do, and create for fun? Let us know in the comments, below!

Keep an eye out for our next Thought of the Day blog: "Armchair Psychology."

The post To Motivate or Not to Motivate? – Thought of the Day appeared first on Mind Tools.

I frequently ask thought-provoking questions like these to get people really thinking in a way that they won't usually do by themselves.

Why don't they? Well, maybe because the process of being coached means that you have to "open up" and essentially be vulnerable. Which most of us – me included – are not comfortable doing naturally.

I often hear people compare coaching sessions to therapy and in many ways it is. As a nutrition coach, I know all too well how a discussion about unwanted habits and behaviors can open up waves of emotion very quickly. After all, these habits and behaviors stem from previous life experiences.

Let Your Coach Be Your Guide

So why do people seek out coaching? Well, they're looking for answers. However, as I said, good coaches don't necessarily have the answers.

Instead, they have the unique ability to guide people and get them thinking differently, to effectively find the answers themselves… the answers that they had all along.

And that's just it, true coaching isn't telling people where their next career step needs to be or how many calories are in an avocado… that's what Google is for!

A good analogy for this and something I often remind myself of is:

"A good coach is like a mountain guide. They can lead you up the right path, they know when to adjust the pace, and they can keep you motivated throughout the climb. But what they won't do is chuck you on their back and carry you up the mountain themselves."

Why I Started to Coach

For a number of years now I've been fortunate enough to be able to pursue my passion for coaching, specifically nutrition coaching. Almost 10 years ago, I found myself falling head over heels in love… with CrossFit.

But don't worry, I won't be talking about that today! My interest in how nutrition has a huge part to play in performance consumed me, I needed to know more.

From counting calories and experimenting with different diets, I found that people would come to me for advice, and you know what? It felt good. That warm fuzzy feeling you get when you help someone progress and get better is just second to none. And I wanted more.

Helping people with performance was great, but, for me, it was kind of a temporary fix. I wanted to help on an almost life-changing level. And soon I found myself asking what everyday people usually struggle with and how I can help them make bigger, long-lasting lifestyle changes.

The health and fitness industry is filled with endless agendas, false claims and expensive products. So I wanted to empower people with the knowledge, understanding and, more importantly, the self-belief to navigate that tsunami of misinformation.

The Power of Coaching

So we now know that instead of giving people the answers they need, the most impactful way of coaching is to ask the right questions.

That empowers people to find the answers that they were searching for, and the decision to change is theirs instead of someone else giving orders.

For example, giving someone direct advice would look like:

"You really need to stop eating three takeaways a week and binge drinking on weekends."

However, coaching someone would go something like:

"Do you feel your current habits are helping you reach your goals?"

Think about it, when someone tells you what to do what's your instant reaction? Likely to reject them immediately, with a side order of, "Don't tell me what to do." Especially if it comes across in a forceful way.

But a conversation can be subtly steered so that someone will come to a conclusion and make a decision themselves. And this is the ultimate catalyst for change.

5 Essential Qualities of a Great Coach

While everyone coaches slightly differently, I've found that there are a few essential qualities to being a successful coach. A great coach will:

• Ask questions… a lot of them.
• Connect with their client.
• Let the client set the tone.
• Know when to shut up!
• Identify the resistance to change.

I Like Your Style

While coaching principles remain the same, coaching styles can differ. And this all depends on who you're coaching. For example, you may be coaching someone who is confident and "shoots from the hip," and requires a more direct set of questions with a slightly firmer tone.

On the other hand, some will feel more vulnerable to the coaching process, and so you want to tread lightly with direct questioning and approach with more empathy.

With this in mind, it's important to truly understand someone and what they have going on in their lives. It's so vital that you connect with the individual. A good coach will even know how to adjust the pace or intensity, depending on how the person being coached is feeling that day.

Shut Up and Listen

So how do you know how and when to adjust your style? Easy… you shut up and listen. It sounds so straightforward, but the simple act of listening and "leaving the space open" allows the client to open up.

This is your opportunity to pay attention to what they're saying, especially at the start when they will be more scared of change and resistant to your efforts. Because seeking out and identifying this resistance to change is the key to moving in the right direction.

Do you have experience as a coach or being coached? What do you think makes a great coach? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

About the Author:
Joe is an experienced Marketing professional and Nutrition Coach, with a drive to change people's habits and beliefs to help achieve life-changing health and fitness goals. He's also a husband and father with a passion for CrossFit and Olympic Lifting.

The post What Makes a Great Coach? – 5 Essential Qualities appeared first on Mind Tools.

But the other day, over dinner, we covered the ground. There was the usual stuff: the lamentable state of our respective sports teams, domestic politics, the cost of living. That sort of thing.

We also chatted about his job. And I was startled. His entire focus was on his Key Performance Indicators, or KPIs. He's a white-collar professional. His role doesn't involve working in a warehouse or delivering goods.

He's done both of those as vacation jobs – and has a healthy respect for those who do – but I'd assumed that he'd escaped the world of monitored restroom breaks and endless quotas.

OK, so his current employers are human. They don't have the stopwatch on him when he takes a comfort break. But he still exists in a world where every aspect of his productivity is measured.

I have it easy. Write article, hit deadline, move on. I've got goals, sure, but they aren't relentlessly measured. So I was concerned for him.

Measurement Defines the World We Live in

Measurement is all around us. That's particularly apparent to digital natives, like my son. There's a metric for everything, from sales success to personal fitness. And don't get me started on sports.

But all this is nothing new. Measurement is something seemingly inherently human. We are the quantifying animal – and have been since someone carved tally marks on a wolf's jawbone back in the Stone Age.

Measurement underpins our attempts to impose order and understanding on the world. All that's fundamentally changed is the technology.

And as James Vincent points out in his book "Beyond Measure: The Hidden History of Measurement," measurement has had a checkered history.

Measurement and Civilization

In Ancient Egypt, people believed you could measure the physical weight of a human soul. More practically, they built great chambers to measure the flooding depth of the River Nile. They're called nilometers. (Well, what else would you call them?)

These structures allowed Egyptian officials to gauge the likely depth of the Nile's flooding, and hence the fertility of next year's soil. Pretty vital if you needed to know how much food there'd be to go around.

Also handy for predicting things like civil unrest because people were hungry. In any case, measurement had already become an essential tool for civilized government.

Fairness for All?

As societies developed, measurement came to embody new ideas and principles. The French Revolution introduced new standards of measurement: the meter and the kilogram. These swept away the hundreds, if not thousands, of different regional standards that had been used throughout France.

Since the Middle Ages, these standards had favored merchants and landowners who were already rich and powerful. The meter and kilogram replaced them with something new: fairness.

However, measurement isn't a neutral tool; it can be used for darker purposes. In the 17th century, improved surveying techniques allowed land to be parceled out accurately and quickly. So far, so good.

But Oliver Cromwell promptly used these techniques to dispossess the rebellious Irish. European settlers then used them to appropriate the lands of native people in America.

The British Empire was built on high-quality, precisely measured maps. Everyone needed to know who owned what, and who no longer did.

A Measure of Common Sense

I mentioned this double-edged character of measurement when talking to my son. Sure, he said, everything's measured. But that's OK. His KPIs give him structure and direction in his work.

And I remembered that fitness-measurement apps had helped his brother to stave off depression during the COVID lockdown.

So maybe my concern about my son's KPIs was over the top. I'm his dad, and I want him to be happy. And as Vincent observes, measurement is a useful tool. It should promote happiness.

As long as it does that, and we're all aware of its potential to do the opposite, it's a good thing. And it's not like we're going to stop doing it any time soon anyway.

Download Our "Beyond Measure" Book Insight

Mind Tools reviews the best new business and self-development books, alongside the tested classics, in our monthly Book Insight for the Mind Tools Club.

So, if you're a Club member or enterprise licensee, you can download or stream the full "Beyond Measure" Book Insight in text or audio format.

Do you measure many aspects of your life? Does it help? Let us know your thoughts in the Comments, below!

The post Measurement: Taking a Measured Approach appeared first on Mind Tools.

What Is Quiet Quitting?

Quiet quitting is not what it might sound like. It doesn't mean quitting your job, slacking, or "checking out." It's about performing your role but staying within your contracted hours, and "quitting" anything beyond your contracted duties. The idea is that doing so protects your wellbeing and makes space for other priorities in your life.

This isn't a new concept, but the way we work has been evolving, spurred by advances in technology and the COVID pandemic. But quiet quitting is resonating with people now and stirring debate. So, what can we learn from it?

Where Has Quiet Quitting Come From?

Our social media era loves to put a label on trends and sentiment, and the pandemic and other ongoing crises have spawned their fair share.

Quiet quitting has joined the new language of work, alongside "the new normal," "the great resignation," "the great re-evaluation," and "the end of ambition."

The rise of "hustle culture" in the U.S. in the 1990s was all about "striving for more," in the belief that it would lead to success and financial reward. But it led to examples of toxic and exploitative environments, as companies expected more and more from their people – but didn't always deliver the expected rewards.

Psychologist and leadership coach, Jacinta M. Jiménez, says, "We often buy into the myth that relentless productivity only comes with rewards, when in actuality, it comes with a costly price, too."

With hybrid and remote working, work has bled into our homes and lives like never before. And while this creates some great freedom and flexibility, for some it can mean that no healthy boundaries exist.

Quiet quitters are not disengaging or slacking, despite what the name implies, but just doing their work without overextending. In other words, they're setting boundaries.

It doesn't mean that they think work is unimportant, or that they won't do a good job. People are still doing their work and being productive; they just aren't giving more to jobs that don't give back.

If people feel unappreciated, or feel that they have to severely compromise their work-life balance, are underpaid, or are denied career-growth opportunities, then it makes sense that they would set boundaries and limitations on such organizations.

Why Now?

Quiet quitting appears to be a reaction to fatigue and stress by workers after two years of living in a pandemic. These are people who have reprioritized their life to fit work into it, not the other way around.

Younger workers in particular want meaningful jobs and careers that match their passions, values, and sense of purpose. They want work to blend with their life, not be their life.

A 2022 Deloitte study found that work-life balance, and learning and development opportunities, were the top priorities for Millennial and Gen Zs workers when choosing an employer. It also found that nearly 40 percent of younger workers had rejected a job based on their sense of ethics.

When we are not working with purpose, when we are not recognized and rewarded for the great work we do, and when our wellbeing is not prioritized, this can all contribute to feeling disengaged with work. And this can lead people to quiet quit.

What's the Real Conversation Around Quiet Quitting?

Perhaps the conversation should be less about the quiet quitters and more about the organizations and work cultures that have labelled "doing a good job within your contracted hours" as "quitting."

Burnout coach, Erayna Sargent, says, "The conversation on quiet quitting is being spun as if employees don't want to do their job. But the real discussion should be focused on what companies have done to deserve their employees' discretionary effort."

Years ago, people thought that technology would bring freedom and flexibility, and the promise of fewer working hours and more time for leisure.

But the opposite seems to have happened. Many people are working more hours than ever before, chained to their relentless virtual calls, answering instant messages while brushing their teeth, and opening their laptops in bed at night.

Workers are realizing that this is not making them happy or more productive. Instead, it's robbing them of their personal and family time – and now they're claiming it back.

What Can Leaders and Managers Do to Support Quiet Quitters?

Leaders and managers can see this as an opportunity to check in with their people and reengage them with honest communication. A good start is to ask them what really interests and motivates them, and let them prioritize their efforts accordingly.

It's also important to prioritize mental health and wellbeing, to avoid staff burnout. Managers need to help team members to prioritize their workloads and keep them manageable; to have clear goals; and to look out for the signs of stress.

One of a manager's key roles is to develop and coach their employees to fulfill their potential, enjoy the work they do, and maintain a healthy work-life balance. The result is likely to be people motivated to go "above and beyond" and to expand their skill sets.

For example, Mind Tools champions schemes and initiatives aimed at boosting employee engagement and job satisfaction. Our "Talent Space" program offers opportunities for any employee to work in another team, and "Mind Schools" is a monthly presentation of new skills and ideas.

A little praise goes a long way, so managers should recognize and celebrate the good work that their people do. And not just the "one-off" successes: they should applaud the work and efforts of those who consistently do excellent work.

Perhaps then quiet quitting will quietly quit!

What's your experience of quiet quitting – as a manager or team member? Let us know in the Comments, below.

The post Don't Hate the Quiet Quitters: Lessons for Managers appeared first on Mind Tools.

"Generosity is as much showing your vulnerability as it is your passion for something."

Can you remember the first time you were on the receiving end of a generous act? I can't, but I clearly remember the first time I understood how a small act of generosity could make a big difference.

A Generous Act

I was in fourth grade. Fred was a boy in my class who lived in difficult circumstances. His parents didn't have the means to buy him all the stationery he needed in class, and one of the basic items he lacked was a set of colored pencils. Every time we needed to use colored pencils, Fred would get up, walk across the class to my desk and borrow some of mine.

One afternoon I told my mom that Fred didn't have his own set of colored pencils. To her, it was unacceptable that he didn't have the basics, and she said that it must have been hard for him to always rely on others. Instead of driving home, she drove to the closest stationery shop and had me choose a set of pencils.

The next day I was sent to school with Fred's pencils in my school case, and a set of "orders" too! My mom told me to give the pencils to him as unobtrusively as possible and not in front of the whole class. I shouldn't make a big deal of it, but just give them to him and tell him they were his to keep.

As the first bell rang that prompted us to go to our classrooms, the moment presented itself and I gave Fred his pencils. At first, he looked uncertain, then happy, and then proud. At last, he had his own pencils!

To me, it wasn't a big deal to let him use my pencils. However, my mom realized what a difference it would make for Fred to have his own. Generosity is... spotting an opportunity and doing something about it if it's within your means or capability. Sometimes we don't do anything, just because it's "too much trouble" or we're too busy. I like to think, "If I were in that person's position, how would I feel if people simply didn't care enough to do something?"

Ways to Show Generosity to Others

But is generosity always about giving money or material things? Not by a long shot.

There's generosity in thinking creatively to help yourself and others find solutions. Sharing wisdom, and looking for opportunities to help and teach, are acts of generosity.

There's a special kind of generosity in providing a safe space where people can simply be – a place where they don't have to pretend, play a role or fit into a mold without the fear of being ridiculed, judged or excluded.

Taking the time to support a friend or colleague who is going through a tough time or just having a bad day is a type of generosity that builds trust. Giving someone your time and attention by listening mindfully might help them feel heard, understood and less lonely.

It takes mental and emotional energy to admit privilege. Doing your best, and what is within your power to mend historical injustices, is generous. It's much easier to shrug it off and say, "It's not my fault, so why should I try to fix it?"

Accepting an apology when you've been hurt is an act of generosity and not an obligation. Forgiving is an act of generosity irrespective of your reason for doing it.

How Can You Show Generosity Toward Yourself?

Generosity also comes in the form of self-care.

One of my favorite sayings is that you can't give what you don't have. I believe that generosity, like respect and love, starts with how you treat yourself. If you don't love yourself (not to be confused with arrogance), how can you love others? If you don't respect yourself first, it's difficult to consistently treat others respectfully.

Although it might not feel that way, self-honesty is a generous act. If you gift yourself with self-honesty, you get the opportunity to grow into and discover the best version of you. If you're in denial, though, you won't learn or change.

And, showing up in all your glorious authenticity and vulnerability and giving the world you is a special kind of generosity – because you are the only person who can do that.   

What Generosity Isn't

Generosity is an attitude – a way of thinking and being. It isn't doing something to be seen, for social media creds or a cringeworthy post that starts with, "I'm so blessed to be able to give (this person) a (meal/voucher/Christmas gift)."

Being a voice for the voiceless is an act of generosity. Patronizing the voiceless isn't. Calling out wrongs is an act of generosity, but not if you do it to score points. Holding space for others and allowing them to feel what they feel is generous, but not if you're going to use it against them in the future.

If you're thinking about what you'll get in return, you're not showing true generosity.

Generosity Is...

During Friday's #MTtalk Twitter chat, we discussed what generosity is and what it isn't, and how we can display it personally or in the workplace.  Here are all the questions we asked, and some of the best responses:

Q1. Complete the sentence: Generosity is ______.

@ColfaxInsurance Generosity is giving with no expectation of anything in return; very similar to kindness.

@MikeB_MT Generosity is a renewable resource, just like kindness. The more generous I am, the more generous it is.

Q2. How would you describe a generous mindset?

@Yolande_MT A generous mindset knows that you don't always share out of abundance – you share what you have because another needs it more than you do.

@Midgie_MT A generous mindset consists of both the attitude and approach of kindness, wanting to cause no harm, to be helpful and to be respectful at all times towards others.

Q3. What are the benefits of being generous?

@CaptRajeshwar You are always the last in line and know who needs what and when. You become Wi-Fi for your stakeholders: silent [and] obscure, but they know your importance and [are] ready to feed generously.

@BRAVOMedia1 Give unconditionally and you will receive. The operative word here is truly "unconditionally"; I believe when we give we do receive and it is usually in the most unlikely places with the most unlikely people. Be generous unconditionally.

Q4. How do people react when others show them generosity?

@junkkDNA They can either feel relieved/thankful while some may also feel offended. It's difficult. Even if you're coming from the right place, people can get offended for 2 things: 1. When they are wrongly convinced that your generosity is practiced in bad faith; 2. When they themselves practice generosity in bad faith, they tend to believe that everyone's like them.

@EYLynette [It] depends on how they have received offers of generosity before. Happy, loved or shame depending on how it's offered.

Q5. What are some examples of "bad" generosity?

@NWarind Bad generosity is greed, self-praise which boosts jealousy.

@SarahH_MT Buying expensive gifts to "show off" or "look generous" defeats the point of giving and is unhelpful. People do this often out of guilt (I don't do enough for you so I'll create extravagant, public gestures instead to overcompensate).

Q6) How does generosity fit into the workplace culture?

@MarkC_Avgi Mentioning generosity with skills reminds me of those who closely guarded their knowledge & skill-sets, perhaps seemingly being concerned about someone else learning them, & being replaced, rather than sharing such abilities & knowledge to teach or mentor others.

@PG_pmp [It fits] at [the] workplace when we are good listeners and share [our] own know-how with others.

Q7. What might stop you being generous toward your colleagues?

@ZalaB_MT When generosity is mistaken for "can be taken advantage of." When people are generous with their time, space, means and funds, it shouldn’t be taken for granted. When people exploit that, it’s a good way to start setting boundaries and making your priorities clear.

@SoniaH_MT I might stop being generous toward my colleagues if I detect that I'm being used.

Q8. How can you be generous and maintain your boundaries?

@ColfaxInsurance Part of this is knowing when to stop yourself. You can't be generous to the point that you don't take care of yourself, so start by setting clear boundaries for you and communicate those to people.

@DrSupriya_MT Be mindful of this compulsion to be "always nice to others" [because it can] slip into people-pleasing behavior. Then the boundaries are not respected.

Q9. How could a company show generosity to its employees or the community?

@_GT_Coaching There may be certain things a company can promote but ultimately it is down to people within a company.  It is all open to interpretation, either as giver or receiver of generosity.

@Yolande_MT Communities: don't just throw money at them. Ask: How can we best serve this community? What project/effort/action will make a lasting and sustainable difference?

Q10. In what new/different ways might you be generous?

@_GT_Coaching Understanding my blind spots may lead to changes in when/how I am generous.

@PmTwee Each time your generous act serves the purpose means it is indeed new or different!

To read all the tweets, have a look at the Wakelet collection of this chat over here.

Coming Up

It's almost Back-to-School season so we will be hitting "pause" for two weeks! During our summer break, please be sure to check our Twitter page for #MTtalk updates. We look forward to your participation in our next poll closer to the end of August.

Generosity Resources

In the meantime, we've compiled a list of resources for you to browse. (Note that you will need to be a Mind Tools Club or Corporate member to see all of the resources in full.)

How to Avoid Generosity Burnout
Beyond Measure: The Big Impact of Small Changes
Winning by Giving
Multipliers
Managing Your Boundaries
Why Being a Generous Leader Can Make You a Great Leader
How to Get the Best From an Extra Miler
Assertiveness
Random Acts of Kindness
What Is Corporate Social Responsibility?
Gable's Four Responses to Good News

The post Generosity Is... – #MTtalk Roundup appeared first on Mind Tools.

With Juneteenth 2022 fast approaching, we answer the top questions about the holiday and explore the history behind it.

When Is Juneteenth?

June 19 – hence the name! (June + nineteenth = Juneteenth.)

Originating in Texas, Juneteenth has been celebrated since 1879. And last year (2021) President Biden made it a federal holiday.

What Is the Juneteenth Flag?

The official Juneteenth flag (right) consists of the American flag colors, and two stars in the center. The five-point star represents Texas (as the Lone Star State) but also the freedom of enslaved people in all 50 states. The larger star around it signifies a new beginning for African Americans. In 2007, white text was added to the right side of the flag: June 19, 1865.

Many people also use the Pan-African flag (below) to represent Juneteenth.

History of Juneteenth

Juneteenth was founded at the end of the Civil War, when the Union (Northern states) wanted to abolish slavery, but the Confederates (Southern states) did not.

At the beginning of 1863, in the middle of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln issued a piece of legislature that supposedly freed enslaved people in the 11 Confederate states. This was called the Emancipation Proclamation.

But it wasn’t until the end of the Civil War, when the Union military defeated the Confederacy, that enslaved people fully gained, and began to learn of, their legal right to freedom.

On June 19, 1865, Union General Gordon Granger arrived in Galveston, Texas, and shared the news with the African-American population. Word spread through the state, eventually reaching all 250,000 enslaved people there.

That December, slavery in America was formally abolished with the adoption of the 13th Amendment.

What Does Juneteenth Mean Today?

The holiday still commemorates the day that Texan slaves learned of their liberation, but in the wake of the murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, as well as those in the more recent Buffalo shooting, Juneteenth has added significance today. It has always been a time to celebrate life and Black culture with family and friends, and to remember the people who fought for Black freedom and rights, but now more than ever it is a time for reflection, too. To examine how far we have come – but also how far we have to go.

Systemic and historic racism has created a ripple effect that is still impacting Black lives today. We see it in the poverty divide, for example. In 2021, there were more than twice as many Black people living below the poverty line in the U.S. as there were white people in the same position.

Clearly, we still have a way to go.

You can read a personal story about the effects of racism in our blog, Racism, George Floyd, BLM, and Me.

How Is Juneteenth Celebrated?

Today, Juneteenth is typically celebrated with cookouts, rodeos, street fairs, performances and parades, picnics, and more. Historically, Juneteenth celebrations included political rallies and helping Black people to register to vote.

How to Celebrate Juneteenth as an Ally

Regardless of the color of your skin, it's important to know about Black history so that we can ensure a fairer future. And the more you understand about other people's struggles, the better an ally you can be for them. The simplest thing you can do to show your support this Juneteenth is to learn more about the holiday and about Black history.

Another practical step you can take is to support Black creators and buy from Black-owned businesses. You could also donate to non-profits and charities that support Black communities.

How We Are Celebrating Juneteenth

We wanted to know how our colleagues, friends and followers plan to celebrate Juneteenth. Here are some of the things they have planned for the holiday:

Sonia Harris – Coach/Moderator at Mind Tools and Owner of Vizbrandent, LLC

"I first learned about Juneteenth midway through college and still have mixed emotions about this important day. Juneteenth has largely been excluded from classroom discussions, the social studies curriculum that includes American history, and many textbooks in the United States.

"Juneteenth is an observance that has been around for decades in the United States, and our current president just signed it into law as a federal holiday in 2021. For me, this day serves as a regular reminder that my country has grown but still has a long way to go.  Though not mandated, there is a stronger opportunity for education now that the observance is official and national. I do enjoy learning history, but admittedly, I do not celebrate June 19th or July 4th."

Mike Barzacchini – Coach at Mind Tools and Director of Marketing Services at Harper College

"I work at a large community college outside of the city of Chicago. We commemorate and celebrate a number of equity and DEI holidays and observances throughout the year, including Juneteenth.

"For the first time, our state, Illinois, is recognizing Juneteenth as a state holiday. And each year, I've noted a growing number of celebrations, festivals, markets, and music and poetry performances in our neighborhood and nearby communities.

"Along with attending one or more of these, I'll also use my day off from work as a time of personal reflection about our country's history as well as how I can take personal responsibility and action to help create a free and equitable society now and in the future."

How are you celebrating Juneteenth? Whether you're doing something small or big, we want to know... so please share what you're planning for Juneteenth in the comments section, below.

The post What Is Juneteenth? – All You Need to Know appeared first on Mind Tools.

Obviously, none of these methods are healthy. And perpetuating these stereotypes does nothing to help men find an outlet without feeling overshadowed by judgment.

Men are just as prone to anxiety, depression and emotional difficulties as women. While it can be hard to be vulnerable, particularly if you’ve had a lifetime of experience shutting your feelings down, it's important to find ways to deal with your feelings in a healthier way.

The Dangers of Suppressed Emotions for Men

Suppressing your sadness and anxiety affects men in more ways than many people realize. In addition to being an underlying cause of anxiety, depression and other mental health disorders, suppressing emotions such as anger can impact your thinking and behavioral patterns, and disrupt relationships. It can also lead to physical problems such as:

• Increasing the risk of blood pressure
• Heart complications
• Headaches
• Migraines
• Digestive problems

Keeping a lid on negative emotions can also increase the risk of addiction. Men suffer more from substance abuse and dependence than women do, but they "tend to enter treatment later in the course of addiction," observes wellness writer, Hannah Friedman. "This may be because there is greater stigma attached to the idea of seeking help among men than there is among women. That stigma is isolating and extremely harmful. As a result, men may feel it's better to suffer in silence than it is to get the help they need and deserve."

Talk It Out

From work commitments and family issues to money worries and health concerns, there are many reasons why you might be experiencing negative emotions. 

Talking to someone about what’s bothering you, whether it’s a family member, a friend you trust or a licensed therapist, can really help in offloading some of the weight that these worries can place on you.

In my own experience, talking therapies have helped people function better in everyday life and can provide you with the coping strategies to deal with negative emotions in a healthier way.

Give Yourself a New Focus

One of the less healthy ways that many men handle their emotions is through alcohol and drugs. But when you self-medicate to cope with challenges in your everyday life, it can become a crutch that you depend on whatever life throws at you. 

Finding a stress-relieving hobby or activity that gives you a new focus when things feel too much can be really helpful in helping men manage their emotions without relying on harmful substances. It might be taking up a new sport, going for a run, reading or playing music, or cooking. These are outlets you can turn to when your emotions feel heavy, that aren’t going to impact your health in a negative way.

Develop Benign Attention

Benign attention stems from mindfulness meditation, and there’s a growing body of research that suggests it can help with stress, anxiety and negative emotions such as anger.

This method encourages you to sit with your emotions, whatever they are, without judgment or shame and simply observe them. Over time, you develop the ability to recognize when you’re feeling something without it causing suffering. 

For men who struggle to know how to handle their feelings, this creates space between you and your emotions. You can observe them with a level of impartiality, which enables you to respond rather than react.

Learn From the Past

Identifying the ways that grief, loss, sadness or anger have made you feel in the past, and the events or situations that caused those emotions, can help you to prepare for the future. 

Journaling is a great way to spot these patterns. There’s no set way of journaling, so whether you choose to write short, snappy points, long personal entries or draw your thoughts, they’re all valid and can really help in breaking down the problem, so you can get to the root of the issue.

Final Thoughts

We all struggle with negative emotions from time to time, but for men there are societal expectations that can make tackling these thoughts harder. Identifying healthy ways to cope with stress and anger, anxiety or depression, will ensure that you don’t fall into the habit of relying on harmful practices like substance abuse, lashing out or physical altercations.

About the Author:

Chris is a passionate mental health and wellbeing writer and psychologist, focusing on sharing his experience and improving the lives of others. When Chris isn't researching the latest holistic and wellbeing therapies, he's spending time with his two cats, usually curled up on the sofa reading a book.

The post How Men Can Manage Negative Emotions in a Healthy Way appeared first on Mind Tools.

Ethical organizations can play a huge part in helping look after our planet and giving back to our local communities. But some more cynical CEOs might ask "what's in it for me?" Well, it turns out living ethically isn't just good for the environment, it's good for business. Research from the University of Notre Dame finds that ethical business operations are highly important to success, while unethical behavior can negatively impact a business's prospects. 

Our article on Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR) covers three key areas where businesses can make a real impact – the environment, ethics and philanthropy. So, based on these, what exactly makes an ethical business?

The Environment

Environmental CSR examines how businesses can reduce their carbon footprints while working. Whether organizations are looking to reduce their energy use or improve their recycling efforts, even simple acts like turning off lights and equipment in the office when they're not in use can make a big difference in protecting our planet.

Looking at the products that companies produce can also help them to reduce their environmental impact. They can reduce the amount of energy used in manufacturing, or switching to more environmentally friendly packaging. This can help with brand perception as well. Consumers are becoming a lot more socially conscious, and they'll be more inclined to purchase again from an environmentally conscious organization.

Organizations need to be wary, though. Although your brand perception can improve by making environmental improvements, many organizations have been accused of greenwashing. One report recently found that 59 percent of green claims made by fashion brands are misleading. Tricking consumers into believing that a product is environmentally friendly is a sure-fire way to lose customers. Businesses can avoid this by making sure they're developing genuine and authentic CSR initiatives that are aligned to their own values, vision and operational activities.

For more on corporate ethics and responsibility, read our article, Jenning's Seven Signs of Ethical Collapse.

Ethics

Another good way to spot an ethical organization is to examine its corporate policies and what employee benefits they offer. Don't let the breakfast bars and ping-pong tables in the office fool you! A fun office doesn't mean your company will speak out against social injustices or treat its employees fairly.

An ethical business will provide an environment where employees feel safe from discrimination, and where their wellbeing is valued and looked after. If a company includes benefits such as flexible working hours and generous parental leave, that's usually a good sign that they're ethically sound.

It's also a good idea to look at what suppliers a company uses. They might claim to be ethical but it doesn't bode well if their suppliers aren't also ethically, environmentally and socially responsible.

Philanthropy

Giving back is another great way that organizations can score some ethical brownie points. And there are so many ways that organizations can do some good! Does your company donate to local causes, arrange volunteering days, or run a charitable trust?

The problem is, it can sometimes be difficult for organizations to know where to focus their charitable efforts. Choose the right nonprofit or charity to support, to ensure that your contributions have as much impact as possible.

Do you work for an ethical organization? What other things can companies do to become more sociably responsible? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

The post Do You Work for an Ethical Business? appeared first on Mind Tools.